


Lyle

by havisham



Category: Original Work
Genre: Family, Fluff, Gen, Giant Spiders, Trick or Treat: Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-02 08:03:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16301222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havisham/pseuds/havisham
Summary: Lyle Tannen wasn’t a regular dad. He wasn’t a cool dad either. He was a giant spider in a dad suit and he loved his children very, very much.





	Lyle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shoulder_Devil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoulder_Devil/gifts).



Lyle Tannen wasn’t a regular dad. He wasn’t a cool dad either. He was a giant spider in a dad suit and he loved his children very, very much. Growing up, Lyle hadn’t really been close to his mom, and hadn't know his dad at all. (Mom had eaten Dad by then -- as was the custom in their species.)

Mom was -- well, she was busy. She had released Lyle and two hundred of his brothers and sisters to the mercy of the elements -- packing them up into a giant silk balloon that eventually drifted into a medium-sized Midwestern city, blocked out the sun and killed almost all of the residents. As a teen, living in the burned out shell of said Midwestern city, Lyle had decided that when he was a parent, he’d do things differently. He’d be there for his kids, in ways his parents hadn’t been. And he definitely would not devour any of member of his family, no matter how much they annoyed him. Take that, Mom! 

The dad suit was, in a lot of ways, a God-send. In other ways, Lyle had stolen it from a scientist who had been dispatched to sort out the Great Springfield Giant Spider Infestation (ongoing). Lyle wasn’t sure why the scientist had a dad-suit just lying around, but the fit of it was perfect, like it was made for him. 

Looking in the mirror, Lyle couldn’t believe this was him -- he was human-shaped man, with a head, two arms, a chest, genitals and two legs. His skin was medium brown and his eyes were dark. He had eyebrows. When he pulled his lips apart, he smiled. When he squished them together, he frowned. His apparent age was anywhere between twenty-five and forty-five. When he raided the scientist’s wardrobe for something to cloth his new human body, he found a white polo shirt, a pair of khaki pants, some Dockers, black knee socks and a World’s Best Dad baseball cap. His uniform was complete. 

Walking out into the world with his dad suit, Lyle wasn’t sure what would happen. He didn’t expect someone to see him and give him a family -- even giant spiders knew there was more to it than _that_ \-- but it was a start. From then on, Lyle began to build a life for himself. A life for himself, and the family he hoped one day to have. 

*

Ten years later, Lyle had that life. 

He had three adorable children -- Stevie, who was eight, Nancy, who was six, and Meryl, who was 24 months -- and they were the light of his life. And life as a single father who was also a giant spider in a dad suit wasn’t easy -- Lyle worked a regular nine-to-five at an IT department of a small retail company, and on the weekends, he worked at a big-n-tall men’s clothing store. The rents in the West Coast town he had chosen to raise his family in were high, and so was the cost of living. But the schools were good and the neighborhood they lived in was beautiful and filled with other young, diverse families. 

The only fly in the ointment was Lyle didn’t spend as much time with his kids as he would like. And also, his new next door neighbor was in fact, the scientist whom he had stolen that dad suit from, ten years ago. 

Lyle didn’t think Rahul recognized him -- the dad suit had changed in the years Lyle had been using it. He’d gained a few pounds, grown a mustache and a beard, and really settled into his fatherly destiny. Anyway, they greeted each other from time to time and that was fine. Then Rahul’s daughter, Sita, became friends with Stevie and Nancy, and the kids started hanging out a lot, and as a result, Lyle, Rahul, and Rahul’s wife, Prima, got to spend more time together -- mostly drinking a couple of cold ones while they watched the kids play. 

It was one such evening -- though it was October, the temperature was warm enough to walk around in a t-shirt and shorts. There were hot dogs on the grill and Lyle sighed, content with life. 

“Hey, Lyle,” said Rahul from the other side of the fence. “Can I borrow a hedge clipper from you?” 

“Sure, hold on a minute,” Lyle said, as he slid the hot dogs off the grill and on to a plate. He told the kids to help themselves and then headed off to the shed to get the clippers for Rahul. Rahul smiled when he handed them over and thanked him. 

“I’m glad that suit is working for you, bud,” he said. Lyle, who had turned away -- his boss had just texted him to ask if he could work another shift this Friday -- stopped dead and turned to look at Rahul. 

“What,” Lyle said. He wondered if he would have to devour Rahul on the spot. He didn’t want to. He absolutely didn’t want to pretend he had no idea what had happened to Prima’s husband or Sita’s dad. But -- for the sake of Stevie, Nancy and Meryl, he would do anything. He would kill and eat Rahul right there, if he had to. 

“Don’t get me wrong,” Rahul said, apparently unaware of how perilously close he was to being killed and eaten. “I was surprised to see a Mark 7 Dadbod after so long, and without any upgrades or anything? But you’d done a really good job upkeeping it. Congrats.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lyle said neutrally. “I’m just a normal guy.” 

“Yeah,” Rahul agreed, tapping his nose. “You know, I was from Springfield. Came back from grad school just when the infestation hit. It was a rough couple of years, but we got over it -- you should see some of my newer models.” 

“Rahul,” Lyle said, trying to understand what was happening. “Are you going to --” 

Rahul looked at him for a moment before he realized. “Shit! No, no! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have -- Prima always tells me that I always seem like I’m holding two sides of the conversation by myself. No, dude, I get it. I’m glad you’re using your Dadbod. I really am. I mean, God bless.” 

Lyle allowed himself to breathe calmly and then, smile. “Thanks, Rahul.” 

“Dad!” said Stevie, “are you coming? There’s only one hot dog for you.” 

“Yeah! Save one for me,” Lyle said and went over to the patio to where the kids were seated. He took Meryl out of her high chair and began to feed her peas and some cut-up hot dogs. Meryl was young enough that she wasn’t totally in control of her kid-suit yet. She grabbed a piece of hot dog and sucked out the nutrients. Lyle laughed. They were so cute at this age.

He was really glad to be a dad. 


End file.
